To Begin With..

Trying To Go To Sleep

It takes a long time for me to fall asleep.  My body gets tired, but my brain stays awake.  I crawl into bed, touch out the light--yay for touch lamps!--, find a comfy spot, punch my pillow, and just lay there.  I don’t really know how long it takes before I drift off because I have no concept of passing time.  Random thoughts enter my head that lead to other random thoughts.  To my brain, they have some connection to the previous thoughts, but if my stream were audible, no one else would be able to understand it. 

Thoughts.. dialogues... pictures... It’s not a dream because I’m still awake.  I replay what has happened during the day or what has happened in the past few days or what might happen tomorrow.  I have control over what I think, but if I want to stop thinking, I can’t.  My brain doesn’t know when to shut up.  

Out of this random stream of consciousness, I do get some deep, insightful thoughts.  I should get up and write this down.  No! I’m trying to go to sleep.  So, if I wake up enough to sit up and use a pen, I’ll have to start the process all over again!  But you’ll forget it in the morning.  No I won’t.  Remember.  Remember it, Stephanie.  I concentrate on my thought over and over to remember it, but I end up deceiving myself.

Sometimes, my knowledge of my forgetfulness triumphs and I write it down.  I squint so that hopefully my eyes don’t adjust to the light--another part of going to sleep to redo all over again.  Why does my creativity have to come to me in the middle of the night?

I hope this blog will help me to document my creative outbursts.  Most of the time, my thoughts aren’t enough to stimulate a story.  So a blog would be great because then I don’t have to write a story; I could just share my thought.

I also want to include posts about my interests.  I love all aspects of the arts.  When I graduate from high school, I plan to go through a 10 month course at a cosmetology school, get a job at a salon, and then pursue an art major and theater minor at a college yet to be decided.

Verdigris

By the way, verdigris is the beautiful tarnish that forms like rust on brass, bronze, and copper.  It ranges from a dull green to teal to a vibrant turquoise color.  It can be made by coating copper with acetic acid, but also forms naturally by weathering and exposure to sea water.

Verdigris used to be a popular pigment for artists.  It created the brightest green.  It was lightfast--resistant to fading--in oil paint, but not so in other mediums.  It was also known to change colors over time; green fields turned brown and Caribbean seas turned forest green.  By the 19th century, better green pigments were available.