I recently found this short story I wrote when I was in sixth grade.  At the time I wrote it, I remember thinking how much more I wanted to expand the story, but I was on a word limit so I couldn’t.  I wanted to write it like some girl telling her friend at school about her weekend and making a big, exaggerated tale out of it.  I ended up having to delete those parts because it got too long so I just used the actual story that my main character told her friend.  I never gave my character a name; didn’t want to, but I imagined she was about seven or eight years old and styled the writing accordingly.  I like this story; it’s so wacky and random and I always thought I would love to have this girl as my best friend.

“You will not believe what happened to me when....”

    ....my mommy said, “I’ll only be gone for two days.  Look after Henry while I’m gone and there’s mini pizzas in the freezer.”  She was out the door like that, leaving me behind, stranded with my little brother, Henry the Hulk, and the frozen pizzas, which mommy had secretly stuffed with spinach and said it was seasonings.

    Already, the Hulk had gotten into my box of beanie babies with his germ-infested, stubby hands.  “Let’s take a walk,” I said, but in my head I said, “Let’s get out the door so you don’t mess anything else up!”  While he was getting his shoes on, I threw my beanies into the washer.

    On our walk, I slipped on a banana peel, feel, blacked out, and woke up in a hospital bed.  How I got there, I’m still not sure because I was still a little woozy in the head.  I was told something about a clown in stinky underwear.

    I was able to go home in an hour.  The doc started wonderin’ where my “mama” was.  I didn’t want to tell him that she was away for the weekend, so I told him that my mom was in shock because her Uncle Curtis had died of the hiccups a year ago and that she wouldn’t answer the phone or door.  Then, doc started telling me about hiccups, and how deadly they are if not stopped.  All of that stuff freaked me out because I am a kid of many hiccuping days.  Just at the right moment, I sneaked out of the hospital with the Hulk, who had destroyed the play area in there.

    All of a sudden, we were kidnapped by robbers.  We were taken away to their little house on the prairie.  In the morning, while they raided our house, this weird skateboarder showed up and rescued us.  When we got outside, I kicked the boarder in the stomach, grabbed Hulk, and took off on his skateboard.  I didn’t know if that skateboarder-wanna-be wanted to kidnap us or not.  You never know about people like that.

    After that, reporters took pictures of me.  They said something about being the only person to beat up that skateboarder.  I found out that he was an agent for the FBI.  Oh yeah, those pictures of me wound up in Australia!

    After that we went home and got bored.  The only thing that was exciting was when Mommy came home, and when I got my beanies out of the wash.