What I look for in a Guy..

I can’t fathom who the “perfect” man for me will actually be. I recently had a group discussion in my creative writing class where we each gave a character quality we find attractive. Since most were going to say “being a Christian” that was excluded. Afterwards, I went home and wrote down the ones said and then made a list of my own. But then I started seriously thinking about whether or not my criteria will actually match my future hubby.

I realized that my list was the easy way out.

I just thought about all the things that annoy me and hope he doesn’t have those things and then thought up all the things that I admire in a person and hope he has those qualities. But real marriage isn’t like that. No one has a perfect marriage because no one can love perfectly. No human is always patient, kind, unenvious, meek, humble, respectful, selfless, peaceful, forgiving, optimistic, protective, trusting, hopeful, persevering, and committed. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

There’s no way I can find the right man for me on my own. It’s such a challenging and overwhelming task. I’m quite ok with leaving it completely up to God--how, where, and when is the right time in my life. 

But it was still fun to make this list and think up the unattainable “perfect” guy. xD

Seven qualities I find attractive...

How to Make Money from Your Blog

There are many ways to monetize your blog a little money or even large amounts if you’re serious about it. Companies are more than willing to pay you so that they can put ads on your site. Two such companies are Amazon and Google through the Amazon Associates Program and Google Adsense.

Amazon Associates

Amazon Associates is a online affiliate marketing program that gives an income to those who advertise Amazon products. It’s as simple as adding helpful links in your posts that direct readers to an Amazon product related to your article. Affiliates can receive up to 15% in referral fees.

How do I become an Amazon Affiliate?

1. Go to the bottom of the Amazon.com home page and find a link for "Join Associates."  Follow the link.  This will allow you to sign up for the Amazon Affiliate program.

2. You will need create an Amazon account or sign in if you already have one.

3. Next, there will be a form requesting your name, company name, address for payment, and website info. Fill it out, choose from the many options of payment, and read the terms and conditions of becoming an affiliate. Then, send your information to be approved.

4. Once you’ve been accepted, there will be an Amazon initiation where you have to stand on your head... no, just kidding! Now you can use Amazon for links. There will be a bar that appears whenever you’re on Amazon that helps with linking.

Amazon Associates is a popular monetizing program because Amazon is a trusted company that many people go to for their online shopping to buy an array of different products. Bloggers with extremely narrow niches are able to find products to link to. Amazon product lines include books, electronics, kitchen items, tools, lawn and garden, toys, games, baby products, clothing, sporting goods, health and personal-care items, cosmetics, and musical instruments. Anyone can sell things on Amazon, not just companies, which also increases the chance of someone selling something related to what you write about. 4% commission is the base rate, but the percentage goes up as you lead more people to buy products. And the up side is that once you lead a person to Amazon, for the next 24 hours you get a percentage from anything that person buys.

Google Adsense

When one starts monetizing their site or blog, it’s best to have more than one affiliate program. Amazon doesn’t always have the highest pay, though their are ways to optimize your earnings.   Another popular choice is Google Adsense.  Google Adsense puts ads on your site for free with a pay per click program. There are for types of ads available: Adsense for content, Adsense for Search, Referrals, and Adsense for Mobile. Adsense for content is the most popular. Adsense for content is automatically content sensitive. It is programed to put related ads on every single web page on your site. So, if a visitor is reading your article on gymnastics there might be an ad selling leotards that he/she might click on which gives you a profit.

How do I sign up for Google Adsense?


1. Apply for Google Adsense. You must first submit your website to Google. On the main page of Google.com, there is a link for Google Advertising Programs. From there, click on “Get Started with Adsense” and fill out the necessary forms needed to submit your site. You will have to get an approval e-mail by Google, before you can go on to step 2. For some people, it’s hard to get approved. You have to wait until you have some quality content and a little traffic to your site. It’s advised to wait until you’ve had your site for six months before applying.

2. Log into your Google Adsense account. You will see tabs at the top; pick the "Adsense Setup" tab.

3. Choose which kind of ad you want: Adsense for content, Adsense for Search, Referrals, or Adsense for Mobile. There will be a brief description of each.

4. Create the ad. Go through the process of designing your ad. It will take you through the options where you choose exactly what your ad will look like on your site. At the end, you will then receive a HTML code to highlight and copy.

5. Now go to your site and under the layout editing, paste the code where you want the ad to be. With Blogger, go to the Layout/Page Elements and click the link “Add a Gadget” and then the “HTML/Java Script” option.

6. Save and publish your changes. Yay!!! You’re done!!

With Blogger, you can also create the ad right from your blog instead of using the Google site. You would follow step 5, but instead of clicking “HTML/Java Script” click “Adsense.” From there you can do steps 3 and 4 right from Blogger.

Trust

I hate saying my day went badly, even if it did because so many people hear about the bad things and automatically shut it out as complaining and whining. You know, “first world” problems. “Third world” problems are “When’s my next meal?” and “first world” problems are “Why does everybody hate me?” So some people say something like, “Don’t complain because you have dinner and other people in the world don’t.” I don’t believe that at all. Your biggest problem is your biggest problem. There’s no rank. Even people with growling stomachs have so-called “first world” problems like emotional insecurities. I am very thankful for what I have: house, food, clothes, clean water, soap, shoes... It’s not like I don’t appreciate those things. I just become less aware of them. I mean when someone throws hurtful words my way, my first thought isn’t, “Well at least I’ll have supper tonight.” You’re not as thankful until you don’t have it. Which is why greed is so stupid.  More, more, more. Enough is never enough. Once a person attains one thing they’ll soon be spying on something else.

I have a hard time trusting people.

It’s not that I’m incapable of trust. I just have very few people I can talk to openly about anything--right now no one. It’s weird how I can tell when someone is trustworthy or not. Sometimes I can just tell from the moment I meet them that if we became close, they’d keep my secrets.

Honestly, I don’t know anyone--or very few--people that truly want to know how my day went--both good and bad. Especially the bad. Or maybe they care and I just think they don’t because secretly I just don’t want to talk about it.

I know I don’t always trust people because I don’t want to get hurt. I’ve never been back stabbed in a life-altering way; I’m just sensitive. Gosh, I hate that word because I know it makes people think of a whiny wimp. I know that’s what I think of. I know that I’m sensitive so I’m protecting myself. I’ve put up a lot of barriers. I need someone to be patient and break them down. Sensitivity can be viewed as a weakness--sometimes it is for me, but I also think it’s a strength. My sensitivity--to anything: joy, sympathy, understanding, not just the things that hurt--makes me a better writer, artist, and actress. I can relate with most anything even if I’ve never felt it, but just because I can understand the feeling. I tend to be able to see what lies underneath someone’s actions...or at least come up with some good guesses. I’m very observant. One thing I can’t stand is people who have no sympathy for others. They so easily lash out or blurt out words without realizing what they’ve done. And sometimes it’s what they haven’t done like totally ignoring someone and leaving them out.

I know I’ve hurt people too, and I’m so sorry once I realize it. My biggest regret though is never realizing it. I could just make one comment; maybe I’m just in a bad mood, and I could hurt someone or make them self conscious without knowing it.

I keep things to myself.

My thoughts race by, different feelings flicker in and out of my brain constantly, and I don’t utter a word. That’s why I like to write. I can vent all I want on paper without being angry at someone. I have a book that’s my venting book. The funny thing is if anyone started reading my book they’d think I’m some crazy, angry maniac all the time. I’m not. I write in it so I don’t act like that. See? I’m a considerate crazy angry maniac. Haha No, I don’t get mad that often. Most things in life, like the little things that are annoying, I don’t dwell on or let them bother me. That’s life and I can’t change it by letting it upset me.

Make It A Life Worth Living

Dreams

I’ve been told so many times to not expect much.  Don’t get your hopes up.  Realize you probably won’t make it so why even bother?  What you can expect from life is disappointment and unfulfillment.

Pshh  What do I say to that?  I’m not going to let you predict my life.  How do you know?  Why must you be so negative?   I say, go for your dreams!!!  Though plan financially a little bit. :P  But if you set low expectations you’ll only reach your low expectations.

What happens when you don’t meet your expectations?  I must admit I have a problem with that.  I’m way too hypercritical of myself.  Maybe I really did meet the expectation, but I’m still positive I could’ve done better.  It’s so silly.  I know I’m not perfect, but I still beat myself up over some of the stupid stuff I do.  I am my worst critic.

Disappointment

I don’t get it when someone tells me not to get my hopes up.  No matter what, I’ll be disappointed; it’s just a matter of time.  Either I’ll get disappointed because the person thinks I’m already doomed to fail.  Or most likely.  Chances aren’t good.  They don’t have confidence in me and it kind of tends to rub off so that I’m not encouraged or excited anymore at all.  So I’m already disappointed before I even find out the results of whatever I was hoping for!  And what is wrong with disappointment!?  Yeah, I hate, but it just proves that I wanted something, that I had a goal, desire, plan for my life and if it didn’t happen, “Oh well.”  That’s life and I’ll just have to try and minimize the pity party, brush myself off, and look for another opportunity.    

Besides, I’d rather go for a dream than kick myself years later for not even trying.

I challenge anyone that reads this to follow your dreams no matter what anyone says.  Don’t let others kill your desires. You can do it!

Paranoia

Use your imagination!  Just don’t kill yourself.

I have an overactive imagination.  I can start day dreaming and make up this entire, complex story and then forget all or most of it as soon as I shake myself out of it.  I’m sure I’ve written lengthly novels in my head that are gone forever.  Then I experience this “woah” feeling wondering what just happened.  There’s been times where I’ve been thinking about a memory of mine, something I did, and I can’t remember when, where, or who I was with.  Certain details had escaped me and usually I’m one to remember every little thing.  It would bug me for some time until I realized, “That was a dream I had once.”  I can’t believe how dreams can be so real sometimes that I could actually think it actually happened.  You know the feeling of waking up from a dream and thinking it was real?  Within a few seconds, you realized it wasn’t because, obviously, you’re still in bed.  Well the eerie part of it for me is months later I think I had some kind of experience and I’m stumped because it’s a little fuzzy and don’t realize it never happened.

The thing about an overactive imagination is that it can make me a little paranoid.  I think paranoia is an interesting topic.  And not the mental illness.  The little suspicious, slightly irrational distrust that everyone has about someone or something, real or imagined.  I never ever “see” anything I imagine.  I can kind of project it onto the back of my eyelids, but any images still seem fuzzy or transparent.  I think everyone gets a little paranoid about certain things...at least I hope so.  Otherwise, I might be delusional, folks! ;)

I can be paranoid in a safety way.  As in, is that guy lurking around (course he really isn’t lurking, I just think he is...my imagination) just waiting to pounce on me, tie me up, gag me, and dump me into the back of a big white van with no windows?  (Yep, all big white vans without windows might as well have “We have candy, kids,” written on the side.) 

I always feel like someone’s watching me.  I feel like there could be someone sitting in the tree in my backyard with a pair of binoculars staring at me.  It’s not an intense feeling; just creepy, and makes me look out the window to see.  I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be kidnapped and then escape or somehow come out of it alive.  Not enough to wish it would happen though!

When I was younger...

One cause of it I think is my dad.  He’s always telling me to be aware of my surroundings and be cautious and careful.  I know he’s just trying to be helpful. Be careful of dark alleys; that sort of thing.  One time he told me that if I ever came across a squirrel that was acting funny, unusually not startled by a human, and foaming at the mouth, that that squirrel had rabies and I should get away from it.  Now, I was one of those kids that obnoxiously ran after squirrels like a dog screaming at the top of my lungs.  So I was pretty freaked out that there could be a dangerous squirrel out there that would start chasing me!  For weeks I wouldn’t go outside to play.  Or I’d forget, go out and start swinging on our swing set, realize there could be a squirrel hiding behind a tree somewhere waiting for me, and run like mad back into the house.  Yes, I realize that was crazy; that’s why it’s called paranoia.

I’m never letting my kids watch something scary on TV while they’re young.  Like the red-eyed bear in Fox and the Hound scared me--and it was only because of the fact that he had red eyes.  I would cover my eyes during that part of the movie.  So, I never watched horror movies or anything, but the slightly scary parts of normal kids movies would freak me out.  When I was little, I watched a movie once that was about a family living in the wilderness.  They kept having these frequent run ins with this angry, bold wolf with a scar running down his face.  I realize now that that movie was what made me scared at night sometimes.  I had to have the windows shut and the blinds closed because I was afraid wolves were going to jump through my window.  I knew there were no wolves that lived in our area and that they couldn't possibly break through my window or even want to, but I was still afraid.  An irrational fear of my childhood.  Surprisingly, I never thought monsters were in my closet or under my bed.  Instead, I would imagine shadows moving on the walls and that snakes and alligators swam in an invisible sea under my bed and would snap at my toes if my legs hung over the side.

Was that really a joke?

Today, I tend to be paranoid about what people think...particularly of me.  I hate it when people joke with you and you’re not sure if they’re being mean and just won’t commit completely to the insult.  I’m not saying I don’t like joking around with people.  I can take a joke directed at me and probably retort one right back.  But sometimes I just think about it and wonder if it’s true.  Why would he/she even think that if they didn’t think it was true?  I can tell when someone is honestly just playing with me.  But then there’s the moment when I don’t know if a person is really joking with me or saying something mean and laughing it off with a, “Just kidding!”  Sometimes sarcasm can be used the wrong way--which is, sadly, cruel.

My paranoia--or imagination--has never escalated to become a problem.  It doesn’t control me and it doesn’t prevent me from living my life.  2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.  God doesn’t want me to be afraid.  Satan does though, but I will not give him the satisfaction.

The Future

I’m gonna graduate!!

I’ve been thinking about my future lately. I’m a senior in high school so I’d say it’s kind of a normal thing to be thinking about right now. There’s so many things to decide. Where should I go to school? What should I major in? How can I get a good education without breaking the bank? There’s so many choices! And then, what kind of career do I want? I want something I’ll love--doesn’t everybody? Will I make a living from it?

Passion and Motivation

At least, I have interests. I love art--any form of art; I’m not limited to the canvas stuff,--theater, and horses. I’m not one of those people who have absolutely no idea what they’re going to do with their lives. I knew a guy who’s goal in life when he was younger was to be the guy that put the new price in the sign of a gas station. You’ve seen those guys, right? They have a long pole with a magnet on the end that they use to pick up metal pieces with a letter or number on it to change a message or price under the company’s sign. I don’t want to be that guy.

There are so many struggling artists out there and so many struggling actors/actresses out there; will I make it? I’ve realized I can’t be scared. I have to pursue the things I love to do no matter how much money I make. Sorry Mom and Dad.

I was at a high school graduation last year and the speaker said something like this to the graduates, “You know that guy who gets up at the crack of lunch, playing with his Xbox, his pants hanging half way off his butt? Do not friend that guy! Do not date that guy! Do not bring him home!” And a response from a parent in the audience was a loud, “AMEN!” The point of it was to surround yourself with friends who have goals so that you aren’t dragged into doing nothing for the rest of your life. I need to make sure that my close friends also love God, and that in whatever they do they are giving all credit to Him.

The Career Plan

So, here’s the plan...if all goes well. I’m enrolling in a 10-month cosmetology course. During cosmetology school I’ll also take a math class or something so I have some credits when I go to college. I’ll then get a job at a salon cutting hair to help pay my way through college. Here’s where things get fuzzy. I don’t know what I want to do. Art and theater. Which one will be my major and which one will be my minor. Double major? I also don’t have a college that I like. I must admit I haven’t done much looking. But it’s a little overwhelming; there’s so much out there. Parts of me can’t wait and parts of me can. I don’t want to make any mistakes! I know. That sounds silly. I’m supposed to make mistakes and hopefully be smart and learn from them. Though I would learn from my mistakes, I’m afraid to make them. If I can, I want to avoid them. Mistakes can really mess up your life and sometimes the results are irreversible. I’m also really interested in the “behind the scene” aspects of theater. In between failed auditions, I could do set design, hair, makeup, costumes, and probably a bunch of other creative stuff that I just don’t know about. I’m so excited to learn more!

So yeah, I just felt like getting out my thoughts about all that... :) I’m optimistic!