What I look for in a Guy..

I can’t fathom who the “perfect” man for me will actually be. I recently had a group discussion in my creative writing class where we each gave a character quality we find attractive. Since most were going to say “being a Christian” that was excluded. Afterwards, I went home and wrote down the ones said and then made a list of my own. But then I started seriously thinking about whether or not my criteria will actually match my future hubby.

I realized that my list was the easy way out.

I just thought about all the things that annoy me and hope he doesn’t have those things and then thought up all the things that I admire in a person and hope he has those qualities. But real marriage isn’t like that. No one has a perfect marriage because no one can love perfectly. No human is always patient, kind, unenvious, meek, humble, respectful, selfless, peaceful, forgiving, optimistic, protective, trusting, hopeful, persevering, and committed. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

There’s no way I can find the right man for me on my own. It’s such a challenging and overwhelming task. I’m quite ok with leaving it completely up to God--how, where, and when is the right time in my life. 

But it was still fun to make this list and think up the unattainable “perfect” guy. xD

Seven qualities I find attractive...

1. Christian.

I want him to be a practicing Christian. This is a given. I WILL marry someone who loves God and is devoted to serving Him and I want my hubby to be my spiritual support and encouragement. Now, if he is a Christian, he should already have all my preceding qualities. But, I realize no Christian is perfect and all people have weaknesses in their journey to be like the image of God.

2. Humility.

A man that is full of himself does not make a good husband. He tends to treat others without respect because of a superiority complex. He can’t or won’t admit when he’s wrong. I’m not saying I think he’ll always be wrong--that would mean I have a pride issue. And there’s always stubbornness--I know I’m a little stubborn--where each of us think the other is wrong because of contrasting opinions. However, I can’t stand if he knows he is wrong, won’t just be open about it, and instead comes up with some lame, illogical excuse for what he did. A prideful manner can also just be a cover for insecurities. I find a lot of guys today have this fake, comedic pride to avoid being honest and accepting their flaws. “Macho law” prohibits them from confessing or sincerely apologizing because then they’ll beat themselves up on the inside over how imperfect they are.

3. Similar Sense of Humor.

I think this is really important. I’d like my hubby to make me laugh and that we find most of the same things humorous. There’s definitely a special bonding moment between people when they laugh together. Plus, I find it really disappointing when I show someone something comedic and they don’t find it as hysterical as I did.

4. Affectionate.

I don’t care how he’s affectionate just as long as he’s not afraid or awkward about showing he loves me. I do like someone who is creative, though. Creativity shows he thought about how to make me happy instead of something traditional like flowers or dinner and a movie. One thing I like would be eye contact. I express myself through my eyes and primarily sense how someone feels by their eyes. It’s the way I connect with people.

5. Sensitive.

I know this is probably the hardest thing to find in a guy when it comes to an innate ability to responding correctly to how girls feel, but I’m putting it down anyway. Guys just don’t get it. I know that sometimes us girls are just plain mysterious in what we want or how we feel. We might get mad about something when really it’s this totally different thing we’re steamed about and we expect our hubbies to somehow interpret and understand. I’m usually blunt and straight forward, but sometimes no matter how obvious I am, some guys just don’t get it. I could be on the verge of tears and a guy would just say, “Hey can you make me a sandwich?” Sigh. Something I’ll probably have to suck up and deal with.

6. Wise.

I’d like him to have an education, have biblical knowledge, and be financially savvy. My dad is probably the smartest person I know; he reads a lot and is current on world events and how it might affect Christians. He has biblical-based opinions on everything and I don’t know what I’d do without someone with that knowledge-seeking characteristic in my life.

7. Respectful.

I don’t want someone to laugh at the things I’m passionate about and think they’re not important because he doesn’t also love them like I do. He doesn’t have to love everything that I love; we can have different interests, just as long as we’re tolerant of them and not demeaning.

Three characteristics I hate..

1. Controlling, Nagging, perfectionist.

This is a very complex personality trait that I could write a post about, but I really don’t want to because I don’t like this type of person’ why waste my breath. Basically, controlling leads to nagging and nagging leads to trying to make everything perfect. I can’t stand someone who wants to control me in what I say, what I wear, where I go or anything else. I’ve found that I’m a very independent person. I can make my own decisions because I’m very analytical and can see things from many different viewpoints. If I need advice, I’ll ask for it, but I don’t need it constantly shoved down my throat. I don’t want someone who will try and perfect me or even think that he has the power to change me. Only God can change me. I’m not perfect and never will be so there’s no possible way to please a perfectionist.

2. Lazy.

I don’t want him to be unmotivated and not have any goals or dreams. I want him to be efficient. I never want to feel like I’m the only one putting in an effort. As I said, I’m independent. If I feel like I’ll end up doing a workload for two people, I don’t want to be married.

3. Allergies.

I love animals and nature. I want to have lots of pets and be outside in all seasons without making my hubby miserable.

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Never mind. I decided I want tall, dark and handsome with lots of money!! ;) kidding..

Overall, I just want a best friend. Someone who will keep my secrets, tease me like a sister, and will do spontaneous, crazy things with me like puddle jumping in the rain. Someone with adventure for his middle name. <3    .... bahaha that was sappy, but the truth :P